As soon as I crossed the finish line of my very first half marathon I might have fallen over if my run friend, John, hadn’t been there to wrap me in a hug and hold me upright. It wasn’t because I was exhausted or hurting that I was dizzy all of a sudden: it was from the overwhelming shock at having achieved the goal I had set for myself. I swear he was almost as excited for my achievement as I was and there’s magic in that.

Maybe magic isn’t the right word, because there was nothing magical about the sweaty training runs I pushed myself to complete in the months leading up to the Valley Harvest. No magic in the bloody toes and definitely not a drop of magic in the chafing caused by my sports bra. So if not magic, what the hell was it that kept me moving forward since I registered in May?

Strength?

I have certainly noticed a difference in my physical abilities since embarking on my training journey. I can run faster and longer and more efficiently now. I complemented my running with strength training and yoga and I’m fitter than ever.

Focus?

Ignoring the cars that honked without looking to see who was driving because I needed to get through the next kilometre or up the next hill without giving up. Carefully selected playlists. Specifically chosen socks and tanks depending on the weather and distance and even my mood.

Determination?

I set a goal to give me direction through a challenging time in my life and there was no way in hell I was going to stop. I ran through sweltering heat and humidity and even through chilly rain. I ran jet lagged and tired and hungry. I swallowed more flies than I can count and even took a few home stuck to my contact lenses. But I never stopped moving towards my goal.

Support and encouragement?

My run club and fitness friends encouraged me and my friends and family supported me without fully understanding why I was doing it to begin with. I ran with an international army of supporters cheering me on.

I’m still not sure what got me across the finish line except to say I must have had it in me all along. No one followed my training or coached me on the way. My run club gave me the initial push to set the goal but I reached it. There’s nothing magic about what got me there but I think there’s magic in what I discovered along the way.

I realized that making the decision to start on a difficult path is the hardest part of the journey. Every step I took in training prepared me to enjoy every step of that race. Every beat of my heart reminded me that I’m living the life I choose to live and I’m heading in the direction I want to move in. I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

I’ve found friends I didn’t know I needed. I discovered abilities within myself I never knew I existed. I have uncovered thoughts and feelings and ambitions that were hiding for years. I found a happiness and peace on the roads of San Diego and Cape Breton and right here at home that have allowed me to inhale a new life and exhale the past.

Maybe there is magic in that.

 

 

 

I just typed out a powerful and emotional blog post for you all and something flashed on my screen and it’s gone. All that was left was my working title What’s Next? I could cry in frustration but instead I’ll move forward. Because that’s what we do.

I’m a #goaldigger and that means I’m usually working towards something and I’m a force to be reckoned with when I’ve got my sights set on something. I’m driven and motivated to do better and be better.

I set a goal of running a half marathon. I made a plan and I followed a training schedule and on Sunday morning after 2hours 3minutes and 13seconds I crossed that finish line with a smile. I started a 12 week program with the Kilted Coaches to clean up my nutrition and improve my fitness. It’s week 11 and I feel better than ever. I drink more water and eat more protein than I ever have in my life and I even did 420 lunges one day.

I decided to commemorate my first half marathon with a tattoo of mountains. They remind me of the west coast beauties I left behind when I left my marriage, but they also remind me to keep climbing. I can climb whatever mountain life puts in my path and I’m facing some pretty steep elevations these days, folks. But just like I told myself during those last few kilometres to the finish line: keep moving forward.

So what next?

I ran the race. I’m done with Coach Rab and Coach Stephen next week. Keep moving forward. I’ll sign up for another race and I’ll set a new strength goal. I’ll keep drinking water, eating tons of protein and fibre and I’ll even work on cutting back on coffee. I will keep climbing.

I’ve heard some folks tell me recently that I’ve inspired them to recommit to their own fitness and that fuels me to keep putting one foot in front of the other even though I can’t see the road in front of me right now. It’s so damn foggy out there with support payments and dividing assets and doing what’s in the best interests of the kids and trusting my gut. Some days I feel like I keep climbing with no peak in sight but I need to keep climbing. I have no other choice because that’s what we do: we keep moving forward.

So, I’m not sure what’s next, but I know that the view from the top of the mountain (whenever I get there) will be worth every single step.

 

If you are struggling to keep moving forward please visit  http://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/ Your life is worth living and you deserve to enjoy the view from the top. 

I’m an event planner and a recovering perfectionist so having things go according to plan is kinda my jam. I’ve done a lot of self-growth work over the last number of years, especially over the last 9 months, and I’m done with jam, (too high in sugar anyway.)

Tomorrow is one of my favourite days of the year: Falmouth TrALE Run day! I work on this event hosted by my bestie, Kathy of Fitness Junkies ,and this is our third year working together on this project and I love it more and more. I love it because the people involved are some of the best people I know, but also because it’s about having fun with friends, supporting local businesses, and getting outside and taking a moment to really enjoy life.

Today the plan was for me to join Kathy for a run of the trails at Castle Frederick Farms and get the safety marking done, and maybe catch up on each other’s lives outside of running our mini-empires. PLOT TWIST! It was piss pouring rain and looks like it’s going to be a seriously wet day so the plan needed to be adjusted. 

You know what? Adjusting the plan is ok…I didn’t even feel that old rush of panic set in so I must be making progress! Kathy will go out later this afternoon or we’ll hit the trail earlier tomorrow. No big deal and that’s why this is a huge deal! I know my mother will read this and will remember back to my days as a student when I’d flip out over anything and everything not going perfectly. I have come a long way and seeing that growth is a great feeling, but it’s also motivation to keep going.

Life rarely goes the way we expect it to and our frustration and disappoint comes from this idea we have of how things should be. I’m learning to stop shoulding myself because it’s a ridiculous notion to hold myself responsible for being able to predict the future. The best things about my life are those that I never imagined would happen: starting a business, becoming a runner, being a single mom, or writing this post on the rainy day before an outdoor event.

 

There’s magic in not being able to know what’s going to happen next and being at peace with that because I have confidence that I can handle whatever comes next. So, even if it rains tomorrow on TrALE Run day, I’ll put my rubber boots and raincoat on and my crew of TrALErs will still have a great time!

 

Tomorrow is the big day for our girl, Erin, and for so many others taking on the first Keji Multisport Festival and Women’s Only Triathlon and I can feel excitement while sitting at my desk typing this post. I asked Erin for some final thoughts and her texts are full of extra exclamation marks this morning!

A transformation has been taking place since I started working on this project. I have been learning about a new sport, meeting new people, but by far the most amazing thing is to watch my friend set a new goal and work her butt off to reach it.  It probably won’t surprise you to learn that Ms. Bremner already has a goal in mind for after this event…and she hasn’t even left for Kejimkujik yet!!!

I’ve heard rumours that there’s quite the triathlon training group growing in the Hants County area which was born from this event. This transformation is spreading: Erin has gathered a group of other inspiring and motivated women around her.  These ladies embody the spirit of what I believe the Keji Multisport Festival aimed to create.  Women ARE being encouraged and empowered to pursue outdoor endurance sports while enjoying the beauty of our natural surroundings. There’s magic in that idea and there’s magic in these faces.

The women in this picture ARE at the centre of something big and important: they are shining examples of the strength and power women have can awaken in each other. They have supported each other in doing something physically and mentally difficult. They have shown their families and friends that a woman with a goal is a force to be reckoned with.

I am so damned proud of these women and not proud in an ownership way like when you show off that amazing painting you just did while dizzy on wine at PaintNite, but in a way where you are truly excited to witness a fellow human being do something amazing.  I understand the struggle of swimming and I’ve never even been tangled in eel grass so I can imagine Erin’s joy and satisfaction in working her butt off and seeing improvement.

Erin and her girls are packing up the camper and will be headed to Keji this afternoon and I wish them and everyone else participating in the Keji Multisport Festival and Women’s Only Triathlon the best of luck. Erin joked that next year she might even put her face in the water, but her determination this year has been inspiring to watch. Inspiring enough to have me wondering if I might find myself dipping my toes in the water of a new sport…

 

One of my Facebook memories for today came from 2011 when I ran my first Greenboro Run Club 5k practice run in 35 minutes. I feel like I’ve come a long way since that day, in more ways than just my pace.

When I reflect on the last 7 years I realize I’ve experienced a miscarriage, carried and birthed a baby boy, 4 cross-country moves, watched my stepkids graduate from high school, sent two little kids off to school, started a business, made new friends and reunited with old ones, and transformed my life into something new and exciting. One thing that has been constant throughout all of this change is running.

I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I once failed a math test in Grade 5 and my perfectionist nature got the better of me and I couldn’t cope: I cried myself into a migraine and went home from school sick. That fact that I remember the test was on percentages and was printed on blue paper shows how deep an impact it had. I’ve been through several rounds of counseling and I’ve taken medication. I’ve read all the books and even consulted with alternative therapists. I’ve learned to really tune into who I am and what sets me off.

I struggled with the darkness that loomed overhead for a majority of my life and running has cleared the clouds for me. I look back on the last 7 years and am so thankful for the freedom each step has allowed me to experience. I find myself a little more each time I lace up and hit the trail. Each run is a cathartic experience for me and I release the negativity and anxiety with each bead of sweat. I push up the hills and across finish lines with a new sense of the person I’m becoming.

A few days ago my mom asked me, with a note of disbelief in her voice, if I truly enjoy running.

YES!YES!YES!

Running is my therapy these days. I run outside and breathe the fresh air and feel the sun on my skin and the earth beneath my feet. I can think about everything or absolutely nothing! I listen to music that inspires my pace and I push myself to reach new goals and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other because that’s what life is, isn’t it? Getting up each morning and putting one foot in front of the other. Always moving forward.

One of those goals is to run the half marathon at the Valley Harvest Marathon on October 7th this year. It will be an important 21.2k for me as I have chosen to wear the Worth Living logo on my running singlet. I’ve joined this organization as a Run Ambassador to help promote mental health and to remind everyone that every life is worth living. Especially yours. Especially mine.

Every step I take will be a reminder that I lost a pregnancy and survived. That I wandered in the darkness but found the sun. That I’ve struggled with anxiety but I’m excited for what comes next. Every step I take reminds me of how good it feels to be moving forward. Every step is worth taking just like every life is worth living.

What makes your life worth living?

Are you interested in joining the Worth Living Run Ambassadors for an upcoming race? Visit http://worthliving.co/wl-run-ambassadors/ 

 

 

Getting tangled in eel grass. Highway traffic that’s too close for comfort. A few missed training days.

There are plenty of reasons for Erin to halt her journey towards the Keji Women’s Triathlon but nothing is going to stop this gal! I checked in with her last night and like always, my conversation with her left me laughing and inspired and cheering her on louder than ever.

She got her wet suit and she’s getting more comfortable with open water swims. But that’s not what I want to focus on. The bring. it. on. attitude just oozes from her pores. She set a goal and she’s determined to reach it, come hell or eel grass. I’m not the only one in awe of her dedication, either.

If you’re a parent you probably know that immense pride you feel when your kid does something amazing. That feeling that wells up inside and it feels like you might burst into an ugly cry of happiness at any moment? Now imagine that your mom or dad is feeling that way about you right now. I strongly suspect Mr Bremner is one helluva proud papa watching his girl swim Lake Pisiquid and cycle around Hants County.  Rumour has it he even followed her on her cycling route in his truck. Is your heart full yet?

This is what I love about fitness and sport.

The Keji Women’s Triathlon is not just about women swimming then biking then running. It’s about moms prioritizing their fitness and teaching their children to pursue goals. It’s about daughters showing their strength and confidence. It’s about friends encouraging each other to do difficult things.

Erin’s always been a bit of a character but I feel like I’ve had the privilege to bear witness to her true character throughout this triathlon training experience. I’ve listened to her express her fears while watching her actively work to conquer them. I’ve run behind her cycling, pushing myself to catch up only to find her waiting for me at the crest of a challenging hill. She tags me in her workout posts so I can share in her training victories. This is her true character: she loves and lives and wants everyone right there with her.

We’re two weeks out from the big event and this girl is going to crush it! Erin: so many of us are so proud of you! Thank you for continuing to share your experience with us.

 

 

Check out the Keji Multisport Festival and Triathlon:

https://raceroster.com/events/2018/16098/keji-multisport-festival-keji-womens-triathlon

 

 

 

 

I’m in week 5 for the Everlean Program and I’ve been doing fairly well and every week we submit a video diary which the Coaches use as part of their YouTube/Facebook video series “You’ve Been Coached”. Last week in my video I mentioned how my running schedule got off track and then I admitted that was an excuse. THIS IS A BREAKTHROUGH! We all make excuses but do we acknowledge them and own them?

I’ve been more mindful of my eating, hydration, and exercise but also of my inner dialogue, and I have been making excuses. I missed a run because I didn’t have a babysitter: EXCUSE! I could have planned ahead.  I didn’t eat a balanced meal because I was in a hurry: EXCUSE! I know I’m going to need to eat every day so I should have planned it out in advance. I didn’t do this or that and did this instead…EXCUSES!

What excuses have you been making to avoid taking ownership of your health and fitness? Work getting in the way? Kids come first? It’s summer and it’s hot and you want to relax? BULLSHIT! These are all excuses. Yes, I know you have to work. I have kids, too. And yes it’s friggin’ hot out today.  Too bad: YOUR health and fitness needs to be a priority. END OF STORY!

So how do we move beyond these excuses (I say we because I’m in this, too)?

First,we have to acknowledge that it’s an excuse. You know deep down when you’re talking truth and when you’re making crap up.

Next, set your rules. Decide what is no longer negotiable in your life if you are serious about reaching your goals (like no Netflix until the workout is done or no beer until your water goal for the day is reached).

Report to someone. I’ve heard folks advise you to keep quiet about your goals but I disagree. Tell someone. Tell lots of people and be held accountable! The Kilted Coaches program has an online community and my run club (Mountain View Runners) has a Facebook group where I post what I’m up to as a way to receive support but also be held accountable. I know people are aware of my goals and will check in with me. I can’t shrink away and hide which makes it a little easier to get out there on a hot day and log those miles.

Be mindful. Think long and hard about why you make the choices you make. When I reach for my weekly piece of coconut cream pie when I’m out with my trivia team I know damn well I could be eating a salad instead, but I plan ahead by working out and I refuse to make myself feel guilty for a weekly treat. I carefully weigh my options and consider the type of energy I want to get out of my body before I put energy in to it.

Forgive yourself and move on. Did you make an excuse? BIG DEAL! We all do. Acknowledge it then forgive yourself and move on. We often are our own worst enemy and our own biggest roadblock to achieving our goals. Be kind to yourself. Learn from your mistakes and do better next time.

 

 Putting myself out there and being held accountable. No excuses!

 

 

 

 

 

I have the secret to a better life and it’s going to blow your flippin’ mind! Get a notebook and pen and get ready for it…the secret is simply choosing to live a better life.

Every morning when you wake up you are presented with choice. Do you get up right away or hit the snooze? Shower or breakfast first? Coffee or tea? We’re faced with choices all day long and whether you want to accept it or not, you are the one making the decisions. Even when it might appear that you don’t have a choice, you ALWAYS have a choice. You can choose to disregard the speed limit and drive to work like you’re driving NASCAR. You can choose to smoke in an airplane bathroom despite the warning stickers. These aren’t the smartest choices, but they’re choices nonetheless.

I decided to choose to send my life in a different direction a few months ago and I’ve made the choice to live a better life. A happier life. A more purposeful life. I made a choice to do things differently and it’s working: my life isn’t always easy but it’s getting easier to make different choices.

I chose to leave a marriage that wasn’t working and I’m choosing to spend my time with people who encourage the best in me. I chose to fly to San Diego and attend a fitness blogging conference and I’m choosing to get out of my comfort zone and do things that will grow my business. I chose to register for a half marathon and I’m choosing to take my fitness to the next level.

I’m pretty excited about this because while my life looks and feels completely different,  it looks and feels completely different!!!! 

Thinking you don’t have the power to change your life is an illusion. You ALWAYS have the ability to take your life in a different direction.

I thought I had my idea for the latest update on Erin’s triathlon journey when a text conversation this morning totally sent off in a new direction. I was going to focus today’s post on the connections and relationships she’s making throughout this process but the #RoadToKeji means something more than meeting new people and making new friends. This experience goes deeper for Erin, just like embracing new challenges reach new depths for most of us.

My body was meant to do all the things

When I received this text message I did a little dance of joy because it’s an amazing statement. Erin’s been most anxious about the swimming aspect of the triathlon but she’s been practicing and embracing that fear and kicking it in the ass on a regular basis. She says watching a 70-year-old woman swim the lake recently inspired her to achieve that level of strength and peace.

“My body was meant to swim…my body was meant to do all the things.”  

I know exactly how Erin feels! I feel that way when I run or after a great workout…I feel privileged to be able to move my body and use it. I see people who have the ability to push themselves to new levels and don’t and I see others who would be grateful to run a step let alone a marathon. Erin shares a similar philosophy that we should seize the opportunity to feel the power of our “machines” in use. Not just in use, but trained and pushed to experience its full capability.

What could your body do if you appreciated your machine a little more?

If you truly felt the power you possess?

Erin recently lost her mother, and while this triathlon is an achievement for her, it’s also a tribute to her mother. A woman who lived her life with incredible strength and determination has left a legacy of this power to her children, and Erin has taken up the torch with enthusiasm.

I recently ran a 12k route while Erin biked ahead of me, and as I watched her climb that first bitch of a hill outside her family’s property in Falmouth, I felt as if I was witnessing something amazing. When I saw her smiling face waiting for me at the top of yet another bitch of hill, I knew I was witnessing the joy that comes from taking on what you once thought was impossible.

“I did the [14 Wing] Triathlon on a whim, because of course I could.” 

It’s such a simple idea really: a triathlon only requires that you swim, bike, then run. That’s it. Nothing overly complicated. It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t impossible, either.

 

What will you choose to take on because you can?

Erin will be sharing more of her story of training for the Keji Multisport Festival on Global News Morning on Wednesday, August 22nd at 8:20am.