Always Kiss Me Goodnight…except for tonight
I had just turned 40 and I said out loud before bed one night, “I’m going to be in better shape in my forties than I’ve ever been in my life.” My significant other innocently cautioned that I needed to remember I was not as young as I once was and therefore shouldn’t expect too much of my body from here on out. I’m sure I huffed or something and immediately rolled over and tried to go to sleep…but I didn’t go to sleep did, I?
Hell No I Didn’t Go To Sleep!
I thought about what he said and tossed the words around in my obviously aging mind for a while. I considered a woman I know who, in her forties, is faster with every finish line she crosses. And all of those news stories about 80 and 90 year olds running marathons. I thought about watching my kids (now 8 and 5) completing fun runs and that’s when my inner bad ass smacked some sense into me. Seriously, WTF? I know he wasn’t trying to be hurtful, but it felt like a slap across my wrinkled face! I turned 40 not 140! And even if I had turned 140, who the hell is he to put limits on what I should push myself to achieve? Why shouldn’t I expect my body to reach new limits and experience new strengths and speeds? Would I ever tell my children not to bother pursuing a goal because of someone else’s limiting beliefs? HELL TO THE NO!
When I finally closed my eyes and fell asleep it was with the determination of a woman hell-bent on living her best life when her feet hit the floor in the morning. And when I got up the next morning, that determination set me on the path I’m following at this very moment. (I will write more about this new direction in the future but that’s not the specific focus of this post.) I woke up fueled to work towards new goals, not motivated by the idea of proving someone wrong, but motivated by a deeply rooted knowledge that I AM capable of running faster and lifting heavier and reaching further.
You see, the whole point of this post and the lesson of this experience is this:
It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t think I can do it when I know I can do it.